A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. Proverbs 25:28
Does your church make you want to scream into your pillow? Me too.
I don't know about you, but I need walls.
There are some who say walls are bad, that we should let all our emotions out all time and people just have to deal with it. The problem with that strategy is that it makes you emotionally vulnerable, but in a bad way.
You can' say everything you want to say to a parent
You can't say everything you want to say to a student
You can't say everything you want to say in a staff meeting
You can't say everything you want to your family
Not only cannot you not say certain things, you can't say certain things in emotional ways which only increases your frustration. What can you do?
Here are 3 walls that will keep you from emotionally over exposing yourself.
The Wall of Professionalism
This wall is about maintaining a professional distance, even as you build relationships. It’s about recognizing that while you care deeply for your youth program and your church, you must also be cautious about the perceptions of others.
The Wall of Self-Care
You must prioritize your own mental and emotional health. It’s about setting aside time for rest, relaxation, and activities that bring you joy. Take your days off, do not go to the office if you do not have to. You have a limited amount of emotional energy, guard it well.
The Wall of Stay In My Lane
Set clear limits on what you’re willing to share, how you will share it and how much emotional energy you’re willing to expend. You cannot die on every hill. Guard yourself from unnecessary conflicts.
When faced with frustrating situations, it’s important to find healthy ways to express your emotions. Here are a few suggestions:
Journaling
Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a cathartic way to process emotions.
If you’re struggling to manage your emotions, consider talking to a therapist or counselor.
Remember, you’re not alone. Many youth pastors, myself included, face similar challenges. By building strong emotional boundaries and finding healthy ways to express your emotions, you can protect your well-being and continue to be an effective leader.
Have a great week,
Paul
Would love to know: Is your discipleship program working?